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ACT TWO
FADE IN
INT. MAIN ROOM - DAY
Lunch time filled with an eclectic New York day crowd. Room
is brighter, white tablecloths, reggae music playing over
sound system. NINA TATTINGER and WINNIFRED TATTINGER sit at
a table, across from HILLARY, finishing meal.
NINA
So we're poor.
HILLARY
We're not poor. We have more than
most. We're just broke.
WINNIFRED
Do we get to move?
HILLARY
No, evidently, it's more economical
to continue living in the
apartment.
WINNIFRED
(eagerly)
But what about school? I'm willing
to go to public school.
HILLARY
Your father and I talked about
that, too. We want you to remain
where you'll get the best
education, at least as long as we
can afford the tuition.
WINNIFRED
Ah, crud.
HILLARY
You enjoy the Doohen School.
WINNIFRED
I do, but I'd rather be like Nancy
Wilcox.
NINA
Who?
WINNIFRED
Remember she moved up the Hudson?
Nancy goes to school with boys, no
uniform, and instead of a taxi,
rides a bike to class.
HILLARY
Well, I'm glad you brought that up.
Some elements of our lives will
have to change.
NINA
Like what?
HILLARY
Well, for instance, the
housekeeper.
NINA
No, no, not Nanette.
HILLARY
We have to let her go. Then divide
up amongst ourselves what she does
all day.
NINA
Okay, I'll take watching game
shows.
HILLARY
I mean responsibilities -- laundry,
dishes, meals --
WINNIFRED
Sounds like fun.
NINA
Winnifred, if you're so interested
in working, why don't you start an
Amway distributorship?
WINNIFRED
Give it a rest, Nina.
HILLARY
Now, girls, our situation is going
to be difficult enough without
squabbling. We have to preserve,
pull together. We're all going to
learn from this experience. And
become stronger.
They rise, cross toward front door. HILLARY nods to YOUNG
COUPLE eating with a SMALL BOY.
HILLARY (CONT.)
And we'll start by budgeting
ourselves... Now, Nina, don't go
crazy.
NINA
I'm fine.
HILLARY
Really?
NINA
I understand the ramifications as
well as the subtleties.
They reach the front door.
HILLARY
Our financial troubles could be
very traumatic. I want you both to
talk honestly about your feelings.
WINNIFRED
Mom, we're okay.
HILLARY
Well... Do you have your tokens for
the bus? You know which line to
take?
NINA
Tsk. Stop treating us like
children.
HILLARY
Well, you don't usually ride mass
transit.
(kisses GIRLS goodbye)
NINA
Goodbye.
WINNIFRED
Bye, Mom.
HILLARY heads off. They exit.
EXT. TATTINGER'S - DAY
NINA and WINNIFRED exit.
NINA
Boy.
WINNIFRED
What?
NINA
Do you believe for a minute Dad's
dumb enough to lose all our money?
WINNIFRED
Well... I don't understand the way
that kind of stuff works.
NINA
You know how Mom's always on us
about living like rich kids -- how
we have to clean our rooms --
WINNIFRED
Uh-huh.
NINA
Obviously, this is a last ditch
effort to modify our behavior.
WINNIFRED
Seriously?
NINA
I know the signs... She's been
reading psychology books again.
WINNIFRED
You think?
NINA
Trust me and hail a cab.
As WINNIFRED, sighing, goes to street, hails cab,
CUT TO
EXT. NEW YORK CITY - NIGHT
Establishing. INXS' "Devil Inside" is wailing over SOUND
SYSTEM.
INT. MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
The joint is jumping. SPIN, on phone, stands at Maitre d'
Station, SILENT GIRL by his side.
SPIN
Friend of Nick's, huh? Your usual
table near the piano? Uh... Can't
really do that. The Private Dining
Room? Well... I'll tell you what.
Come on down anyway. The old
regulars are always welcome... I'm
sorry?... Actually, yes, we are
still serving seafood puree.
PICK UP SHEILA, walking with GREEK ORTHODOX PRIEST.
SHEILA
Believe me. Two fishes will feed a
multitude.
They PASS LOUIS CHATHAM, who approaches the bar, which is
packed six-deep. He pushes his way through.
LOUIS
Excuse me, excuse me... This is the
waiter's station.
LOUIS moves past BOY, who hands drink to GIRL.
BOY
C'mon, it's your birthday. Cheer
up.
GIRL
I never thought I'd be this old. I
mean, twenty-one.
LOUIS rolls his eyes, reaches bar, where SID juggles bottles.
LOUIS
Too bad Ed Sullivan's dead.
He'd've had a spot for you -- right
before Topo Gigio. I need a vodka
gimlet, a vodka tonic, and a vodka
rocks.
SID
Who're you serving, the Russian
delegation?
NICK passes.
NICK
Hello, Louis.
LOUIS
Goodbye, Nick.
NICK
What's your problem?
LOUIS
Look what Spin's making us wear.
SID
You look boffo.
LOUIS
I feel like Bozo.
NICK continues on. LOUIS follows him into Kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
NICK enters, with LOUIS on his tail. KITCHEN STAFF wear
bandannas in place of toques, no neck kerchiefs.
LOUIS
I hope you're satisfied, allowing
this to happen.
NICK
Allow it to happen? I was in
another hemisphere, whacking my way
through the rain forest.
LOUIS
Yes, while you were in the jungle,
they were turning this into a
wildlife preserve. And what I want
to know is, what do you intend to
do?
NICK
(rubs temples)
You wanna know what I intend to do?
I'll tell you what I intend to do.
I don't know.
SPIN and SILENT GIRL enter, followed by The RAMONES and
OTHERS carrying chairs.
SPIN
Dee Dee, Joey, Marky, Johnny, the
kitchen. Kitchen, Dee Dee, Joey,
Marky, Johnny.
(indicates prep table)
How about chowing down right here?
The GROUP places chairs around prep table. NICK and LOUIS
approach. SPIN turns to them.
SPIN (CONT.)
No room out front, but I couldn't
turn away The Ramones.
SPIN exits with SILENT GIRL. NICK turns to LOUIS.
NICK
One thing I do know he's history.
As NICK heads off toward back stairs, and LOUIS smiles,
CUT TO
INT. NICK'S OFFICE - NIGHT
HILLARY, glasses slipping down her now, stands at file
cabinet, working. NICK enters.
NICK
Hillary, we need to argue. I'm
going to fire Spin.
(shuts door)
HILLARY
No, you're not.
(opens door)
NICK
Yes, I am.
(shuts door)
HILLARY
No, you're not.
HILLARY opens door, revealing MAN.
NICK
Yes --
(shuts door)
MAN (o.c.)
Oww.
They stop, look at each other.
NICK
I can't have someone working for me
who I have absolutely nothing in
common with.
HILLARY
Oh, beans. You and Spin are
intelligent, sophisticated men.
You must share something --
NICK
Outside of the fact that we're both
breathing?
HILLARY
Sit down, talk with him. I bet
you'll find out you share many
mutual interests.
NICK
Many?
HILLARY
Several. Okay, one.
NICK
You're wrong.
HILLARY
Prove it.
NICK
Hillary --
HILLARY
Nick.
NICK
And if we don't have any
similarities, you're gone and
you'll take him with you.
HILLARY
Agreed.
NICK
You're pretty sure of yourself.
HILLARY
I know you. And I believe in Spin.
You learn a lot about another
person when you're both struggling
to remember the names of all the
Presidents.
NICK
I've often said that.
HILLARY
You have to promise me you'll
really try to find some common
bond.
NICK
You bet. First thing tomorrow.
On NICK, resolute, and HILLARY, smiling just a bit uneasily,
CUT TO
INT. MAIN ROOM - DAY
NICK and SPIN at opposite ends of couch. They've been there
a while.
NICK
The New York Mets.
SPIN
(shakes head)
No, I hate baseball.
NICK
Awh, too bad. Are there any sports
you do like?
SPIN
I'm not big on the team concept...
Golf intrigues me.
NICK snickers.
SPIN (CONT.)
Do you have something against golf?
NICK
I'd rather watch varnish harden.
SPIN
Varnish Harden. Isn't he a Swedish
post-modern designer?
NICK
(stands)
I think I've heard enough.
SPIN
Gee, I was kind of enjoying this.
Can't we just do a little more?
NICK
No.
SPIN
To tell you the truth, it's
difficult for me to work with
someone I have so little in common
with, but we have to try, don't we?
NICK
(heavy sigh; sits back
down; folds hands in lap)
The Chrysler Building.
SPIN
Oh, yeah, really? I prefer
Citicorp.
NICK
Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
SPIN
Blue Velvet.
NICK
Ernest Hemingway.
SPIN
Highlights magazine.
NICK
Bourbon neat.
SPIN
Gatorade.
NICK
Picasso.
SPIN
Cristo.
NICK
Potato.
SPIN
Potahto.
NICK
Tomato.
SPIN
Tomahto.
On NICK and SPIN, in for the long haul,
CUT TO
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
SHEILA holds spoon up to HILLARY's lips. HILLARY sips.
SHEILA
Well?
HILLARY
Mmmm.
SHEILA
What, what? You hate it.
HILLARY
Mmmmm.
SHEILA
You love it?
HILLARY
Mmmmm.
SHEILA
What, what, what?
HILLARY
(feels mouth)
I think I have another cavity.
O.C. HEAR MAN'S VOICE.
MAN (O.C.)
I'm looking for the owner.
HILLARY and SHEILA turn to see SLY STUYVESANT, early
thirties, broad and intimidating, wearing stone-washed blue
jeans, hi-top sneakers, large parka, entering from alley
doorway.
HILLARY
Well, you found a third of the
owner.
SLY
Fine. The name's Stuyvesant, Sly
Stuyvesant. I happen to be the
regional sales representative of
the Moonglow Linen Supply.
SHEILA
Moonglow?
SLY
It's come to our attention that
you're unhappy with your present
linen supplier, and you're seeking
counter offers.
HILLARY
I don't think so.
SLY
Let me re-phrase We would prefer
that you change to our service.
HILLARY
Well, we would prefer not to.
SLY
Let me re-phrase again Either you
start using Moonglow Linen or
you're going to end up with your
legs broken.
HILLARY
I don't see the correlation.
SHEILA
(whispers)
I think he means you're going to
have an accident.
HILLARY
An accident? I'm completely lost.
SLY
Let me re-phrase one last time.
(picks up glass, smashes
it against the wall)
Ooops.
HILLARY
What is your problem Mister Sly?
SLY
Me? Lady, you're not listening.
Six years in the profession and
I've never met anyone as dense as
you --
HILLARY
Wait a minute... Are you...
SLY nods head encouragingly.
HILLARY (CONT.)
Is this...
SLY nods again, beseechingly, waiting for the words.
HILLARY (CONT.)
You're really...
SLY nods wildly, gesturing encouragement.
HILLARY (CONT.)
Threatening me?
SLY
Finally. Yes, for God's sake. I
thought you said you were part
owner. This happens every day in
every restaurant in New York City.
NICK and SPIN enter from Main Room.
NICK
What's going on?
SHEILA
Your ex is about to be ex'd out.
HILLARY
This hoodlum is trying to shake us
up.
NICK
Shake us down, dear. And why don't
we cool off.
HILLARY
(to SLY)
You take your dirty laundry and air
it somewhere else.
SPIN
Hillary, I think Nick has a point.
HILLARY
(to SLY)
Creatures like you live off the
fears of others. And yes, I am
afraid of you. I'm terrified of
many things.
Of walking down the street at night
alone, of being penniless, of what
will happen to my children --
NICK
(tries to pull HILLARY
away)
This man is not interested in --
HILLARY
(ignoring him; to SLY)
I've never involved myself much in
business affairs. I suppose if I
had, I wouldn't have lost
everything. But I did get involved
in running Tattinger's. And I made
a difference, a real contribution.
And you're not going to ruin that.
So go ahead, take your best shot.
HILLARY turns, presents her chin. SLY turns to NICK and
SPIN.
SLY
Who's the other owner?
SPIN
(indicates)
He is.
SLY
Good.
SLY swings, hitting NICK in the stomach. NICK goes down.
SLY (CONT.)
Because I hate hitting women.
SLY exits. As HILLARY rushes over to NICK,
CUT TO
INT. WINE CELLAR - NIGHT
NICK stands, looking at wine. HILLARY enters.
HILLARY
Hello...
NICK
Hello...
HILLARY
How'd your conversation go with
those Moonglow worms?
NICK
I handled them.
HILLARY
How?
NICK
I've been in the saloon business
long enough to know how to take
care of these situations.
HILLARY
Meaning I don't.
NICK
I didn't say that.
HILLARY
No, it's true. I'm always leaping
into the void, not thinking my
actions through, not being
practical. Like the changes I made
here. I should've asked you. But
I got so excited. I'm just the way
I was when you met me -- a spoiled
little rich girl.
NICK
Was I such a big prize? A loud
mouth bad dresser from the wrong
side of the tracks. Except by then
they'd torn up the El-train.
HILLARY
When I look back on the years we
were married, I wonder why you ever
put up with me.
NICK
Because you put up with me. Those
early years, running Tattinger's...
Y'know what I liked the best? When
you'd come down and sit with me
till closing.
HILLARY
Oh yes... we'd count the receipts
and walk home hand in hand.
NICK
We've come full circle. Hillary, I
think we should try again.
(takes champagne bottle
off rack)
HILLARY
What do you mean?
NICK
Here.
HILLARY
You're not going to make me leave?
NICK
Well, listening to you stand up to
that thug, I realized your
instincts aren't so bad... After
all, you married me. Then you
divorced me. You were right
twice... I know I'm going to regret
this, but I'd like you to stay.
HILLARY
Really?
NICK
Really.
HILLARY
Oh, Nick.
As she hugs him, and the champagne cork pops,
CUT TO
INT. MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Full swing. As NICK and HILLARY cross, carrying champagne
bottle and glasses, SPIN approaches, addresses HILLARY,
confidentially.
SPIN
The fire-eater you auditioned this
afternoon is ready to start --
HILLARY
(sotto)
Later, later.
NICK
If you are going to work here, we
need to set a few --
HILLARY
Ground rules.
NICK
Right. Partners means --
HILLARY
Sharing the decision-making.
NICK
Right. And this thing with the
linen supply is a perfect example
of --
HILLARY
Where I should've deferred to your
long experience.
NICK
Right.
NICK and HILLARY continue across Main Room.
HILLARY
We should talk ideas out fully,
together --
NICK is silent.
HILLARY (CONT.)
Go on.
NICK
Why? You know exactly what I'm
going to say.
HILLARY
And you're so articulate. I swear
to you that from now on, I will do
nothing, take no action, without
first consulting you.
NICK
That's all I ask.
Hear CROWD cheer. They turn to see FIRE-EATER, standing at
bottom of steps, as he blows plume of flame from his mouth.
On NICK, looking at HILLARY,
FADE OUT.